How To Overcome Negative Body Image

Before I begin, I would like to clarify something.

This post is not a 7-step guide on how to immediately start seeing yourself differently or even how to start loving your body as soon as you put this device down.

What this post is, however, is me sharing what I have learnt in my journey, as I trust God in my healing process.

He is the one who plucks the weeds in my mind, and in exchange plants truth and creates a stream of living water.

When I realised that negative body image was a serious issue for me, it had already become a stumbling block in various areas of my life.

It affected me at work, in my interaction with friends and slowly seeped its way into my connection with God.

For years, I found comfort in leaving my over-sized coats on in any weather and in any environment. I hated various parts of my body and was constantly conscious of how I looked.

I felt trapped in my own body and realised that I had to confront this issue.

I had to sit down, acknowledge that this was an area that I was struggling with and think of possible solutions moving forward.

In this blog post, I share what I have learnt along the way and points that you can also apply to your journey - let us begin.

1) Reach out to someone you can trust 

Although these points are in no particular order, I put this first for a reason.

You may think that this is a bit too much for my first point, especially for someone who has been suffering in silence.

Right? Well, here is how I see it.

Often times when we are going through difficulties, we have this notion of wanting to solve the issue by our selves, before confiding in others, not wanting to burden them or make them feel sorry for us.

However, I find that when I share my difficulties with others, even before I start working on a solution, I feel less alone in the whole process moving forward.

I feel like someone has my back, someone who is interceding on my behalf as I wrestle with my struggles, trusting that I will be victorious in the end.

Start with a person you trust, someone who can listen to you and support you along the way. You do not need to fight this fight alone.

2) Identify where this issue actually came from

Imagine that you are in a physical fight blind folded.

The enemy who is not blind folded, is right in front of you, ready to fight. Without seeing where they are, whatever weapon you have for fighting will be used aimlessly as you yield and wrestle, feeling exhausted and left hopeless.

Pin pointing where this issue came from can be your way of taking off the blind fold.

You are therefore able to look your enemy right in the eyes and fight effectively.

Although this can be a painful memory, thinking back to the root of the matter can be a starting point to moving forward. 

It may be because of words others have spoken over you while you were younger, words you spoke over yourself, a traumatic experience or it may even be because of comparison.

Once you identify this, you can begin to see that as your starting point for uprooting and healing.

3) Wash away the lies with truth

When I started my journey, I made the decision to allow God's Word to define who I truly am.

I sought out specific bible scriptures that would combat the lies and sang them over myself.

I sang this truth day after day, month after month, year after year.

I allowed it to wash my mind of the lies that had been spoken over me, that I had spoken over myself and that I had agreed with.

I also wrote out these scriptures over and over again on paper, meditating on them as my mind began to be renewed. As time went by, I started to see myself in His image and as the apple of His eye.

Psalm 139: 13-14
For you created my inmost being
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

An amazing book I would also recommend is You Are Special by Max Lucado.

It is a simple yet powerful children's book written to inspire both adults and children on defining themselves based on what their Creator says and not what people say.

4) Do not compare yourself to other people

Sometimes we may feel inadequate when we compare our selves to other people.

We look at the material possessions they have, the position that they are in and every detail about their physical appearance.

We compare our weight to theirs, the size of our arms to theirs and the greater number of spots we may have on our face in comparison to theirs.

I am not saying that other people should not inspire us, what I am saying is that your biggest competition should be yourself, not other people.

They are running their own race while you are running yours. Be the healthiest version that you can be in every area of your life.

I will also say this - just how they are created in God's image, you are also created in God's image. No more, no less.

Embrace this and let it be a reality for you. You are significant and handcrafted by Elohim. What a beautiful truth this is to ponder upon.

5) Start counselling

Although speaking to our friends and family is important, it may leave us in a place of comfort, where we can choose how far we want to be transparent.

Of course our loved ones may offer us support to the best of their ability, but this may be limited and solely based on their experience.

Speaking to a professional, who knows and understands the human mind, whose desire is to help others heal, can speed up our deliverance.

If you cannot afford it right now, maybe start making an intentional plan on how to start saving up for a few sessions and start doing some initial research on what is already available for you.

6) Find your own personal style

Compared to my previous points, this may be the fun part of this blog post.

When a change is taking place on the inside and we do not allow it to reflect on the outside, we may get discouraged and think nothing is happening.

So how about you take yourself shopping, buy that outfit you really like and even top it off with a new pair of shoes too.

This is not meant to be a way of putting on a plaster to cover what's going on inside, but as a way of putting your faith into action.

To see your self in a new light, to wear colours you like and clothes you feel comfortable in.

Not only can this be recreational for you, but it can also improve your confidence.

Do not neglect your physical appearance, see this as a form of investment that has returns which can manifest from the inside out. 

7) Be consistent and remind yourself that this is a journey

Healing is not always an instant process.

It may take longer for some than it does for others. It is easy to get into a cycle of frustration and self condemnation when we do not reach a certain stage by a certain time.

But this is what makes this journey yours, and it is beautiful.

Whatever stage you are in, be encouraged. Keep going and keep growing.